I have been a hospice nurse for more than 25 years, and I’m often asked “How can you do hospice?” to which I reply, “How can I not?”
Hospice is not just a job to me, it’s a calling. Hospice is a team approach to end of life care and includes nurses, aides, social workers, physicians, chaplains, volunteers and bereavement. The team works together with the goal of promoting quality of life for our patients. Most people envision hospice as a sad thing, where the conversation is always about dying and the days are depressing and sad, but that is not the case.
Yes there are definitely sad, hard times, but in between there can be wonderful days full of hope and dreams. A time of reflecting and sharing, a time of mending relationships and building new ones. A time to spend with family and friends and to discover what truly is important. A time for life review and discovering what makes you laugh all over again.
Hospice encourages patients and their families to focus on the things they enjoy and to do it as they are able. As a hospice nurse, I have the opportunity to work together with them and our team to help make it happen. It could be as simple as enjoying a seafood dinner as was the case of an elderly gentleman that had been on hospice care and was no longer able to get out to his favorite restaurant.
The hospice team discussed this at their weekly meeting and quickly there was a plan in place. The menu was set, the volunteer was ready, and when the meal was delivered to that patient, his face lit up, and despite his illness he ate every morsel of that meal. He talked about that dinner for weeks and the joy it brought to him was priceless.
One of my favorite stories involved a wonderful young couple; the husband was on hospice care and confined to bed and his anniversary was approaching. I wanted it to be a special day because we all knew this would be the last anniversary this couple would celebrate together. We were able to provide dinner for two from a local restaurant, complete with flowers. He was able to enjoy that special day with the love of his life, and such wonderful memories were made that day and are forever etched in the heart of his wife as well as mine. The funds for both of these meals came from our Lights of Love Campaign which began in November as part of National Hospice and Palliative Care Month and will continue through December.
Being a hospice nurse has taught me to take time to smell the flowers, to soak in the beauty of a sunrise and enjoy the calm of a sunset. I have learned that life is short and that each day is precious. I have learned that a smile can be as helpful as medicine, so I share my smile often. I have learned to rely on my faith when the times are tough and that it’s okay to cry when it’s time to say good bye. I consider it an honor and a privilege to be part of a patient’s final journey and to share these moments with their families.
Some time ago, I was at the bedside of an unresponsive man nearing the end of this life. The family was sharing stories with each other about his life when suddenly he smiled a big deliberate smile and within minutes he was gone. That smile brought such hope and joy to a family grieving the loss of their loved one and I had the honor of sharing this with them. So feel free to ask me any time how I can do hospice and my reply will always be: “How can I not.”
Sophie Whitlock, RN, CHPN, is a hospice nurse with the Bristol Home Care and Hospice Agency Inc, which is in the midst of its 2018 Lights of Love campaign. The campaign raises money to help those in need when facing life-threatening illness. Your generosity helps provide patients financial assistance with essential needs or for services not covered by insurance. To donate to Lights of Love, please call the Bristol Hospital Development Foundation, 860-585-3365. For more information on the Bristol Home Care and Hospice Agency, Inc, please call 860-585-4752 or visit www.bristolhospital.org.